My Re-Mission Call

This last week I was set apart as the 1st counselor in my ward Primary. At first I could only think of two reasons why I would not want to serve. First, I love Relief Society and will miss the lessons and the association with the sisters. Second, was the fear factor. I know this is hard for some of you to understand, but I would rather stand in front of Gospel Doctrine "know it alls" than a "Beamer" (Sunbeam). Being a no-mom, the youngest child, and a person that detested babysitting growing up, I don't "do" children well. I feel totally unqualified.

I've had a month to think differently on this new venture (or adventure...a little like trekking in the Amazon Jungle!) I am calling it my "re-mission call". In a previous Grace Note I mentioned that a doctor's visit last March was a turning point for me. It was like God was saying, "Ann, you've had enough self pity, despair and fear. I'm going to give you a new spirit." And when I heard the doctor say the word "remission", I could literally feel the darkness start to fade away. Remission became dear to me and as I tried to define my life after cancer this summer, I thought it was a very fitting word. I spent months trying to find my purpose and mission (RE=again + MISSION=meaning).

I prayed for months for a chance to serve in my ward. Deep in my heart I had hoped the Bishop would call me in to his office (a little like Santa Claus) and say, "You've been a good little girl this year, what position would you like for Christmas?" And I had my list ready and checked it twice. I wanted to serve anywhere in Relief Society, followed by teaching in Sunday School. I get along with Young Women fairly well, and Primary was last on the list. But as I kept praying and praying and trying to be humble, I found MY priorities being replaced with "I'll go where you want me to go, dear Lord."

So to give me courage and determination to offer 110%, here are my reasons for looking forward to my re-mission call.

1. With that much prayer involved, I have got to trust that this is an inspired call. Heavenly Father must know what he's doing. He wouldn't entrust his precious little short people into the care of someone dangerous, like me. I've been told that Sis. Lee, the Primary President, had several episodes of dismissing me from the list of prospective counselors. But she kept coming back to my name. She insists the inspiration came that "Ann needed to be in Primary." With that kind of background information, I can be assured I am not in this scary place alone.

2. I err. Primary wasn't on the bottom of my list of preferred assignments. Being called as a ward missionary would win that spot. But now, maybe I can serve in the Primary and be a missionary both at the same time. Let me explain by sharing a story from a recent Ensign. The story was part of the Questions and Answers section. The problem posed was the feeling of parents struggling to find purpose and meaning in raising a family. Megan Broughton said "...Even though my children are young, I pray for them to have spiritual experiences. And as I read the scriptures, I look for lessons about how to bless and teach my children. We also strive to hold family home evening and family scripture study using methods that are appropriate for our young family...I think of our children as 'little investigators' who are learning the gospel...I have gone about my tasks with an eternal perspective in mind, and I take pride and find joy in my role as a mother and homemaker." (Ensign, June 2009, page 15).

The new Primary theme for 2010 is "I Know My Savior Lives". I am excited to be learning right along with the children about Jesus. My patriarchal blessing says I will have the opportunity to teach truths to many who have not heard or do not understand them. What a chance to share the gospel with little investigators?

3. About a month ago, Pres. Uchtdorf was addressing the Young Single Adults in a CES fireside. He advised those that would not have the opportunity to marry in this life to gain a wide variety of experience. Any learning gained here would help as we rear families in the next life. Having a "near death experience", or so I thought at the time, causes me to think that I need some quick on the job training in being a parent...and I better get it soon!

4. Serving in the Primary organization is a tender mercy. I am fitting in to a presidency that has already served close to three years. Being a counselor instead of an in-charge person will allow me to learn from these women who have so much experience and wisdom. I can still work with adult teachers. With tax season coming up, and my health still in an uncertain stage, Primary will not take as much time as other church callings.

Those first few mornings of Sharing Time will put me in cardiac arrest, and I thought how nice it would be to have a Primary MTC: a two week intensive training. But instead, may I call on all of you Zone Leaders and Senior Companions to share insights such as the difference between Weeblos and Bears, what 11 year old girls do for fun, who provides the Nilla Wafers for nursery and how to effectively use Crayolas, Elmer's Glue and construction paper? I am the "greenie" here. However, I am reminded that only green things grow. And at the end of my re-mission, I hope to say, it was the best (2) years of my life.