A Lesson From Tyler

As you already know, Halloween 2008 was non existent for me. I was still reeling from the effects of my first chemo treatment. So, while not overly thrilled with celebrating the holiday in 2009, I did look forward to attending both family Halloween parties and seeing the excitement of the children. For weeks prior, everyone was asking the question, "...who are you going to be?"... as if magically, all the children would change their character as easily as they changed their costume. When the time came to unveil their "new look", we saw a pirate, a pop star, several witches, and a lion and a tiger...oh my!

Some costumes allowed the wearer to momentarily take on a new personality. Al Capone showed his mean streak for five minutes and then Nathan took over again. When Abby was asked if she was a scary witch or just a cute witch, she thought for only a nano second and replied, "a cute witch". The Ninjas, Star Wars characters, and all of the Knights of the Round table acted ferociously... for a time. Harry "Porter" looked the part with dark hair, glasses and a wand. It was quite believable... for a time.

But Tyler... he cut out the middle man. As Amy stated in the newsletter this month, he debated back and forth "what to be". But in the end, he thought it would be more fun just coming as himself. While Halloween and dressing up is exciting, stirs the creative juices, and is something to look forward to, don't we all come back, eventually, to be ourselves? That's good and that's the way it always should be.

It's actually a very good question we ask each year: "who are you going to be?" Let's emphasize a few words in that question. First, the word "YOU". Tyler already knew of his own worth. Traumatic events, such as surviving cancer changes lives. Perhaps you can reflect on defining moments in your lives, where afterwards, you were not the same? This last year I felt the need to put on the costume of what the perfect "survivor" should be. I've tried to incorporate courage and new resolves into my every day thinking. I've experimented with support groups. I've even read a half dozen "survivor" books detailing the way we should feel and live. But with Halloween 2009, I'm wondering if I need to just "come as I am". Maybe it is time to realize that Ann Singleton is a great character to play.

..."who are you GOING to be?" In the eternal scheme of things, I'm still growing and learning. I have potential. With obedience, repentance, hard work and lots of grace and mercy to go along with lots of "oops", I am GOING to be better today, tomorrow, next year and at the end of this mortal life, whenever that day comes.

How about a different emphasis: "who are you going to BE?" I love that word and it's companion "BECOMING". They reflect the ultimate goal. I am reminded of Elder Oaks comment from the October 2000 General Conference: "The Final Judgment is not just an evaluation of a sum total of good and evil acts, what we have done. It is an acknowledgement of the final effects of our acts and thoughts -- what we have BECOME." For many years I have searched the scriptures for clues on how I can BECOME the person I should be (you know, BE ye therefore, perfect...) Let me share with you some recipes I've found:

"...pray unto the Father with all the energy of heart, that ye may be filled with this love [charity]...that ye may BECOME the sons of God..." (Moroni 7:48)

"...for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things BECOME strong unto them." (Ether 12:27)

"But that ye would humble yourselves before the Lord, and call on his holy name, and watch and pray continually... and thus be led by the Holy Spirit, BECOMING humble, meek, submissive, patient, full of love and all long-suffering." (Alma 13: 28)

So when I see Minnie Mouse, Jasmine, Hermoine, Buzz Lightyear, cowboys and killer bunnies (I don't understand that one) or even a demonic doll, I am reminded that it is fun to pretend, to laugh and act crazy at times. However, eventually we all come back to ourselves. That's a role that no one else in the world can play. But it is a self that is "going" to "be" better today than yesterday. So for Halloween 2010,I will take Tyler's suggestion and come as "me"...only the new and improved version.